Well, does penis size matter or not?

Well, does penis size matter or not?

Well, does penis size matter or not?

We’ve all done it — taken out the old ruler to measure our pleasure pipe. And whether the dimensions of our dick tell us we’re Wee Willy Winkie or Long Schlong Silver, why we care so much in the first place brings us back to the question men have pondered since the dawn of time: does penis size actually matter to women?

Well, good news, gentlemen — we can finally stop pussyfooting around the age-old question. The results are in, and we have the answer right here.

The well-meaning stock phrase, “it’s not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean” might be reassuring, at least in the short run. However, it doesn’t hold much water when you witness women all over the world freaking out every time they catch a glimpse of the out-sized outline of Jon Hamm’s pork through his khakis. The actor’s trouser snake goes viral every time he “accidentally” puts on the meat show as he goes about his daily business, earning him the nickname The Hammaconda.

Naysayers might claim that it’s not the size that matters, it’s the sighs that matter — but what if it’s the size that makes the sighs? It turns out a large dick is, in fact, more than just a dangly decoration. Research has revealed that women are partial to large penises when it comes to their own personal pleasure, too. A recent study carried out by the University of West Scotland revealed that women have an easier time getting their rocks off when their partner has a big penis. In the survey, 323 female students laid bare how often they reached orgasm, described the type of orgasms they had, and revealed the size of their partners’ penises. The women who enjoyed vaginal orgasms reported that they reached the “Big O” more often with a well-hung partner. The ones who preferred penis-in-vagina sex over other kinds reported the same results.

“It’s not you, it’s your penis”

In what could be seen as a further blow to the egos of men on the, er, smaller side, participants also revealed that penis size was a factor in whether or not they broke off previous relationships. To be fair, the pendulum appears to swing both ways in that department: both large and small penises were to blame in the study. However, out of the 75 women surveyed who found size to be an issue, three times as many admitted that it was due to a smaller size than a larger size.

It just so happens that deep vaginal stimulation really does make all the difference when it comes to keeping a large number of women sexually satisfied. (Put it this way — have you ever seen a 3-inch dildo on the shelf? Didn’t think so.)

How does your member measure up?

In a 2012 study, researchers from a bunch of countries went head-to-head to discover where the most well-hung among us dwell. In case you were wondering, in Europe, Iceland came out on top — astonishing results for such a cold country. On its heels was Italy, then Sweden, Greece and Germany, followed by the United Kingdom. Romania and Ireland were at the bottom of the list.

Ladies’ preferences for penis size apparently vary from country to country too. Austrians and Poles like their men’s poles to be the longest. Italian women have the second-highest standards for their men’s trouser snakes, followed by the Americans.

And as if life, in general, wasn’t enough of a dick-measuring contest, it appears that the penises of today are only getting bigger. According to scientists at the King’s College of London, the average penis size of millennials has risen by almost a full inch in recent years. Now, these results are self-reported, meaning many of these men likely bigged themselves up — quite literally — to get a (third) leg up on the competition. If so, this would only solidify how much men measure their overall self-worth by the size of their manhood.

The long and the short of it

You could shake your head in denial and claim it’s a phallusy that women care about penis size. Or, you could take matters into your own hands with the world’s best penis enlargement pump. You’ll be joining over one million satisfied users who have experienced larger penis size, stronger erections, and a massive boost of confidence in the bedroom and beyond. Who knows what doors — or otherwise — a larger penis will open for you? Find out today. (It will get you more bang for your buck than that souped-up sports car, anyway.)